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Morphinechild78

W:O:A Metalmaster
Nov 2, 2009
41,274
0
81
ON THE EDGE OF INSANITY
A Scotsman was on a long train journey. He was already tired and just wanted to sleep. A rather lively lawyer sat across from him, and tried to strike up a conversation. The Scotsman brushed him off, saying that he had already travelled from Scotland, and was tired, just wanted to sleep.

The lawyer had an idea, his colleagues had said that the Scottish were a slow-witted people, and being a learned man, he thought he would have some fun.

"Would you like to play a game to pass the time?" the lawyer asked. The Scotsman declined. The Lawyer then said, "I will make it worth your while. For every question I ask you that you can't answer, you give me £5. You can then ask me a question, and if I do not know the answer, I will give you £500."

The Scotsman was intrigued, and agreed though he was still tired. The lawyer said, "Ok, I'll go first." He then asks a convoluted legal question, that the Scotsman couldn't possibly answer. The Scotsman just takes a £5 note from his wallet and gives it to the Lawyer. The lawyer was feeling a bit smug, and told the Scotsman to take his turn.

The Scotsman thinks for a moment, then asks the Lawyer, "What goes up a hill on 3 legs, and comes down it on 4?" The Lawyer is stumped. He calls all his learned friends on his cell phone, uses his laptop to search, while the Scotsman slept.

An hour later, the Lawyer wakes the Scotsman. "I don't know the answer to your question." The lawyer then gives the Scotsman £500. The Lawyer asks, "So, what does go up a hill on 3 legs, and comes down it on 4?"

The Scotsman hands the lawyer another £5 note and goes back to sleep.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 

xforeverxmetalx

W:O:A Metalgod
Dec 29, 2007
97,363
7
123
"Ma'am, is there a reason why you're weaving all over the road?" the trooper asked the young woman he'd just pulled over.

"Oh officer, thank goodness you're here," the woman said. "I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

The officer reached through the side window and pointed to the rear view mirror.
"Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
 

xforeverxmetalx

W:O:A Metalgod
Dec 29, 2007
97,363
7
123
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."
 

808Metal

W:O:A Metalmaster
Nov 30, 2007
46,286
0
81
Oahu, Hawaii
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

LOL!
 

xforeverxmetalx

W:O:A Metalgod
Dec 29, 2007
97,363
7
123
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.

"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "Any cops following us?"

The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.

"Yeah, looks like it"

"Are his flashers on?"

The blonde turned around again ...

"Yup ... nope ... yup ... nope ... yup ... nope ... yup ..."
 

808Metal

W:O:A Metalmaster
Nov 30, 2007
46,286
0
81
Oahu, Hawaii
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.

"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "Any cops following us?"

The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.

"Yeah, looks like it"

"Are his flashers on?"

The blonde turned around again ...

"Yup ... nope ... yup ... nope ... yup ... nope ... yup ..."

LOL! I don't get it :confused::D