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xforeverxmetalx

W:O:A Metalgod
Dec 29, 2007
97,363
7
123
sorry I was out a bit btw, not my fault, uncle evil popped in again 10mins ago and apparently doesn't have the decency to not get on when I'm obviously intending to stay on [programs still running etc]
...and then he closes everything *böse*
 

xforeverxmetalx

W:O:A Metalgod
Dec 29, 2007
97,363
7
123
A Scotsman was on a long train journey. He was already tired and just wanted to sleep. A rather lively lawyer sat across from him, and tried to strike up a conversation. The Scotsman brushed him off, saying that he had already travelled from Scotland, and was tired, just wanted to sleep.

The lawyer had an idea, his colleagues had said that the Scottish were a slow-witted people, and being a learned man, he thought he would have some fun.

"Would you like to play a game to pass the time?" the lawyer asked. The Scotsman declined. The Lawyer then said, "I will make it worth your while. For every question I ask you that you can't answer, you give me £5. You can then ask me a question, and if I do not know the answer, I will give you £500."

The Scotsman was intrigued, and agreed though he was still tired. The lawyer said, "Ok, I'll go first." He then asks a convoluted legal question, that the Scotsman couldn't possibly answer. The Scotsman just takes a £5 note from his wallet and gives it to the Lawyer. The lawyer was feeling a bit smug, and told the Scotsman to take his turn.

The Scotsman thinks for a moment, then asks the Lawyer, "What goes up a hill on 3 legs, and comes down it on 4?" The Lawyer is stumped. He calls all his learned friends on his cell phone, uses his laptop to search, while the Scotsman slept.

An hour later, the Lawyer wakes the Scotsman. "I don't know the answer to your question." The lawyer then gives the Scotsman £500. The Lawyer asks, "So, what does go up a hill on 3 legs, and comes down it on 4?"

The Scotsman hands the lawyer another £5 note and goes back to sleep.
 

xforeverxmetalx

W:O:A Metalgod
Dec 29, 2007
97,363
7
123
Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says.

The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back.

"That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says.

The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"