250,000 before W:O:A 09!

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61. Thoroughly enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation.

 

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62. Wait... scratch that last one. (See rule 1)

 

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63. Never divulge to any outsiders the Exact Day of the Divine Arrival of the Massive Hoof. Instead, inform them that they should be ready to suck the Dark Lord's greasy @#$ at any time.

 

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64. Use the phrase "suck the Dark Lord's greasy @%$" whenever possible.

 

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65. If you ever find that you have somehow become a member of Hecate Enthroned, be sure to piece together a music video of scrap footage of yourself walking around in the woods at night looking evil. Only, instead of being night make sure it's the middle of the day, and instead of looking evil, look dorky instead. (See also: rule 1)

 

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666. Own hundreds of black metal albums, demos and bootlegs. Listen to approximately 8 of them regularly.

 

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67. Humping a ceramic Virgin Mary in front of your uncle's house is not "pimping it" (unless you tell her you're done then blow in her face like a shotgun when she turns around).

 

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68. Refrain from using keyboard smilies when communicating via the Internet. Single acceptable smiley: -(

 

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69. Why isn't the word "Northern" in your album title yet!? Get to it! Amatuers...

 

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70. Spelling things correctly is neither grim nor necro.

 

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71. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!

 

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72. No matter where you're from, pretend you're from Norway and therefore 'true'.

 

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73. Don't be Dani Filth. (get it?)

 

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74. All pets you own now will henceforth be known as "Crucifier". Any pets you own in the future will also be known as "Crucifier".

 

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75. True black metaller: "Many of our dark hymns are influenced by the mighty Tolkien... You have not read the works of Tolkien!? Nerd. Wait a minute... it appears I am the nerdy one after all!"