Hit 5,000 before WOA 2003?

[Aegir]

Okay, I think I've spammed about spam enough, I'll find something new to spam about now

 

[Aegir]

Actually I'll just post one more thing about spam - this wonderful recipie

Spam Fettuccine Primavera
Makes 6 to 8 servings.

1 tablespon butter or margarine
2 tablespoons flour
1-1/2 cups skim milk
1/2 cup lower-sodium chicken broth
1-1/2 teaspoons dried basil
12 ounces fettuccine
1 can (12 ounces) Spam Lite Luncheon Meat, cut into
julienne strips
1 package (16 ounces) frozen broccoli, carrot and
cauliflower combination, cooked and drained
2/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

To make sauce: In small saucepan, melt butter or
margarine. Stir in flour. Cook, stirring, for 1
minute. Stir in milk, chicken broth and basil.
Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, until thickened.
Keep warm.

To cook pasta: In 5-quart saucepan, cook fettuccine
according to package directions. Drain. Return to
saucepan.

To finish: Stir in Spam, vegetables and sauce. Cook,
stirring, over medium heat until thoroughly heated.
Stir in parmesan cheese.

 

[calonderiel]

Scene 1
[It was a overcast and windy day] [clop clop]
GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!

 

[calonderiel]

GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the
length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my
court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em
together.

 

[calonderiel]

ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land,
through the kingdom of Mercea, through-
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the
plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our
land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

 

[Aegir]

*useless post*
This is some funny stuff

 

[calonderiel]

ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD #1: What - a swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question
of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that
Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?

 

[calonderiel]

ARTHUR: Please!
GUARD #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...

 

[calonderiel]

GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway... [clop clop]
GUARD #2: Wait a minute - supposing two swallows carried it together?
GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARD #2: Well, why not?

 

[calonderiel]

Originally posted by Aegir
*useless post*
This is some funny stuff

Yeah, I just like that movie.. It's a classical

 

[calonderiel]

Scene 2

MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang]]:
p:Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your
dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one - nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!

 

[calonderiel]

MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing - here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here - he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!

 

[calonderiel]

CUSTOMER: No, you're not - you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that - it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's - they've lost nine today.

 

[calonderiel]

CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something
you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

 

[calonderiel]

CUSTOMER: Right. [clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.