50,000 before W:O:A 2009!

[xforeverxmetalx]

The enemy is not entitled to a last request.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the enemy is just putting their plan into operation.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will never utter the sentence, "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

When I employ people as advisors, I will listen to their advice.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated, and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will keep a special stash of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way, even if the enemies manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless, my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I am invincible!" After that, death is usually instantaneous.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason, I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If an enemy I have just killed has a family member or close friend anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.