"Yesterday I was sitting in Algebra and I wrote on my desk, "You got the stuff?", The next day I sat down and to my surprise someone had written, "Come to the Spanish room after Lunch. Tell no one." I decided to play along with it and I went as I was told. I opened the door and a girl handed my a brown paper bag labeled, "the Stuff". It was filled with Candy Corn."
"Today I was reading my brothers drivers ed. Book. Apparently the 19th most common distraction is using a fax machine while driving. I have never been more confused in my life."
"Today, I woke up and went to class. For some reason I had cuts and bruises all over my face, legs, and arms, yet I had no idea why. Later in the day, I saw my roommate and she informed me that I had fallen off of the top bunk bed onto the floor, had an intense fight with my pillow,crawled back up into my bed and went back to sleep. I don't recall this whatsoever."
"Today I was watching The Pirates Of The Caribbean. When my cat come into the room and started hissing at the T.v. why is this so important? My cats name is Ninja."
"Today, I was in the library doing homework when I named one of my word documents "the world from the Apocalypse!" so every time it saved, it would come up as "Word is saving the world from the Apocalypse!" Not five minutes later my laptop crashed. I'm convinced that was its retaliation, and that the Apocalypse isn't ready to go down without a fight."
"Today, my ten year old cousin called me a jerk, then explained to me that it meant a jedi-eating-raptor-kitten. Never again will I regret being a jerk."
"Today, I called a random phone number. The person who answered said, "Hello, Sue speaking!" I replied, "hi, Sue, this is Allie!" Sue replied with, "oh, Allie! I'm so glad you called! can you tell James that the meeting is is at 9:30 tomorrow morning and that I really, really need him to be there?" before I could protest, she said "thanks so much!!" and hung up. James, whoever you are, I hope you see this."
"Today my friend handed me a pregnancy test and told me to take it. It was positive. I can't wait to be a father."
"Today, a gnat was flying in front of my computer monitor. As usual, I was chasing it with the pointer and clicking it. All of a sudden, it just died and fell on the desk. Coincidence?"
"Today, my boyfriend slept in so I painted his nails neon orange and his toes neon pink. He yelled at me because he thought that the colors clashed."
"Yesterday, I saw a fly. Remembering that if you approach it from the front it can't see you I tried to touch it and succeeded. The fly freaked out and I laughed and went "stupid fly". It then started attacking me and was buzzing all around my head. It wasn't until I started screaming, "I lied! You're the smartest fly I know!" did it disappear and I haven't seen it since. I'm a little afraid for my life now."
"Today, I was watching tv and heard my cat sneeze. I told him bless you and he responded with a meow. I'm glad to know my cat has good manners."