70K Before Wacken 2013

[Alix]

You: Look at my horse, my horse is amazing. Give it a lick!


Stranger: 20 m usa


Stranger: MMMM it tastes just like raisins


You: Of a stroke of its mane, it turns into a plane and then it turns back again when you tug on its winky!


Stranger: Oooo thats dirty


You: Do you think so? Well I better not show you where the lemonaide is made.


Stranger: Sweet lemonade oh sweet lemonade, sweet lemonade, yeah sweet lemonade


You: Get on my horse. I'll take you 'round the universe and all the other places too.


Your conversational partner has disconnected.

So close!

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

One day I want to go into space. And then jump out of the spaceship before it gets to the moon. Then I'd propel myself back towards earth until I started falling. And then I'd open up a parachute. It'd be the best skydive ever.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

So close!

You do know that the word "horse" on Omegle is code for "disconnect, it's a troll", right?

 

[Alix]

You do know that the word "horse" on Omegle is code for "disconnect, it's a troll", right?

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If you're mad at someone, throw them in a huge vat of ketchup, and then have a bull on hand. The bull will chase them around. Plus they'll smell like ketchup.

 

[Alix]

WHY DOES THAT PIG HAVE A WOODEN LEG?

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Maybe not.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I own a horse

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

One day I want to make a ton of money from rental houses or other investments, and quit my job. Then go do something ridiculous, like go to furniture stores to nap on the beds. If anyone questions me, I'll tell them to leave me alone, because I'm making money doing it.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

When you go to school, your life's like, wake up, eat, go to school, come home, eat again, do homework and study, go to sleep. When you don't go to school, your life's like, wake up, go to work at a crappy job, wish you'd gone to school, go to sleep. When you don't go to school and you don't work, your life's like, wake up, find a better place to sleep because it's probably going to rain tonight and your pillow's a cardboard box, and then hopefully go to sleep.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

None of the above sound pleasant, but the last one at least is kind of interesting. We should all go that route.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

When you're a kid, you hate naps. When you're a teenager, you love naps. When you're an adult, you still love naps but have no time for a nap. When you're old, you take naps because you don't have anything else to do. When you're dead, you're all about naps.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If your bread is stale, throw it out the window so at least the birds can have it. But make sure you throw it far enough so that it's in your neighbor's yard in case they don't eat it.

 

[Alix]

When you go to school, your life's like, wake up, eat, go to school, come home, eat again, do homework and study, go to sleep. When you don't go to school, your life's like, wake up, go to work at a crappy job, wish you'd gone to school, go to sleep. When you don't go to school and you don't work, your life's like, wake up, find a better place to sleep because it's probably going to rain tonight and your pillow's your last clean garment rolled up neatly, and then hopefully go to sleep in your own "bed".

Relevant

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

The concept of an infinite universe is impossible to some people. They say that there has to be an end somewhere. But is there an end to the orange? Maybe if you eat it. But you can't eat the universe.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Relevant

Wtf?