50,000 before W:O:A 2009!

[xforeverxmetalx]

To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two bags of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these bags here."

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

To me, there's no better symbol for the world than a grasshopper lying dead on a gravel road, and maybe there's a globe lying next to him.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between, plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing." This is truth, to me.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled men of the fort, it was more than that. It was a flag of surrender. And after that, it was torn up and used for shoe-shine rags, so the men would look nice for the surrender.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tip-top and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap?

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

What am I afraid of? I'll tell you: a feather. That's right, a feather. How could anyone be afraid of a feather, you say. That's an honest question, and I'll try to give an honest answer. First of all, did I say it was a poison feather?

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can't think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that granted me all those wishes.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.