250K part 2

[xforeverxmetalx]

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

He who laughs last didn't get it.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

All generalizations are false, including this one.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

It's not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

If you can't fix it with duck tape, you haven't used enough.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.