250,000 before W:O:A 09!

[xforeverxmetalx]

whoa...nope. i thought you said "10" at the beginning, and then you just decided to do some more. yeah perhaps another time!

I didn't write these though, just found them online

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

31. Spend five minutes every other day actually practicing your instrument.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

32. Yell at people who mosh at concerts... they're not prog enough to get the music.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

33. Sus4 is your friend. To ensure that your album is a true progressive release, include at least one part where the keyboard plays ascending sus4 chords over a single-note broken rhythm in 7/8.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

34. Make sure your bandname is either an oxymoron...
-Silent Noise
-Tender Harshness
-Healing Gun
...some geeky-sounding name ripped from some obscure book...
-Deitronus
-Tarakoch
-Fentaran
...or random combination of at least two three-syllable words.
-Eternal Twilight Tranquility (can't get much progger than that)
-Redolent Arithmetic
-Evolution of Vernacular Domesticated

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

35. Don't worry about if your band name makes any sense or not. Since 90% of your fanbase is from Brazil and Japan, you can safely ignore conventional English grammar and instead focus on what's really important: The lyrics (see rule 36).

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

36. Write deep and ambiguous lyrics.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

37. If unable to write deep and ambigous lyrics, include at least one of the following phrases to ensure recognition as lyrical genius in prog circles:
"I'm staring towards ascension divine, caught in my own revelation, a nightly mystery of soulburning apparition"
"Mornings' gentle caress, a ray of sunlight enveloping the spirit of the sleeper ventriloquist"
"A timid, palatable genocide, turn towards the decline of mankind, the festering wound of ages past changes into the soul-spirit of vestigial sentences."

 

[mental_mercury]

28. Be able to mention 20 bands no one has heard of, not even true prog fans. Own no releases of these bands.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

38. Use a non-standard instrument like violin, saxophone or kazoo, regardless of how idiosyncratic it turns out to be. This constitutes being prog.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

39. Make sure your bass player has as many strings as possible. Don't worry if he uses approximately three of the 11 strings on his custom Carvin 30 kg bass regularly, just give him a bass solo in the middle of your mandatory instrumental tune (more on that later) where he can really show the extent of his instruments capabilities. Imagine the range of scales on an instrument like that!

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

40. Release a live album called "Live in Tokyo".

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

41. Change time signatures. Constantly.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

42. Accuse anyone who does not do so of lacking musical intelligence and not being a true progressive musician.

 

[xforeverxmetalx]

43. Your amp must be a Mesa Boogie. If a friend of yours tries to convince you're wrong and you should check out his Marshall, tell him that his tone is thin and buzzy.