250,000 before W:O:A 09!

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72. Get a dog.

 

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73. Play air-drums or air-guitar at concerts. This will make sure that other prog fans recognize your immense talent.

 

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74. Stuck in songwriting? Insert a part with a slow single-note gallop rhythm where the singer yells "enter the sun" several times.

 

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75. Note that you can substitute "enter the sun" for either of the following: "Father, my adolescence is agony" or "the apparition divine". All three are suitable choices.

 

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76. What do you mean, you haven't trigged your bass drum?

 

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77. Remember, faster = more progressive. Slow songs cannot be progressive; best example would be Pink Floyd.

 

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78. If anyone says PF are prog, kindly refer them to rule 1.

 

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79. During recording, make sure that you accuse the producer, the recording engineer and half of your band of not playing the song properly at least once.

 

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80. Make sure your album cover contains either a psychedelic computer-drawn image, a lavish painting with mythological figures, or is illustrated by Travis Smith.

 

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81. Write epics.

 

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82. In case you didn't know, epics must be about adolescency, concerning a legend, or a deep dystopian tale where a cheesy fictional city/world/pizza shop serves as a metaphor for this world.

 

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83. Have racks with loads of equipment.

 

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84. Have racks without equipment. Who is going to see them if you don't display them?

 

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85. No intro for your song? Insert a single-note broken rhythm accented on the snare, with shifting keyboard chords underneath.

 

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86. Refuse to lend prog CDs to mainstream friends. When asked why, tell them that they will understand once they mature.