250,000 before W:O:A 09!

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60. "Flagons of ale." It's appropriate to your fantasy-riddled lyrics, and it almost looks like "dragons," so you score extra points.

 

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61. Since you can't get away with grunts, growls, and other troll-like noises, you will have to sing.

 

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62. Your accent will show as a consequence.

 

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63. To compensate, sing about killing trolls. Preferably with the swords that you carry onstage.

 

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64. More sequels = more epic. See rule #7.

 

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65. Guest vocalists, guest guitarists, and any special appearances from outside your band will make your sound more epic, even if the track sounds just like all the other songs on the album with an extra solo.

 

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666. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! RAAAHHH!

 

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67. Begin songs at half-tempo, and then, when listeners least expect it (at exactly the same time it happens in all your other songs) kick into full speed complete with double-bass and power chords.

 

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68. Bass players: one note. Really fast.

 

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69. But include one enormously crazy bass fill before the chorus, even though the production will bury you so far in the mix that most people won't realize your band has a bass player.

 

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70. Just because you don't play black metal doesn't mean you can't use Tolkein.

 

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71. Whenever you're short of ideas, pick up your Dungeons and Dragons books. You might as well be the first band to sing about owlbears.

 

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72. Never leave Europe.

 

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73. For the purpose of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.

 

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74. And South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count, too.