Fathers.

Dieses Thema im Forum "Talk" wurde erstellt von LooseCannon, 26. März 2003.

  1. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon W:O:A Metalhead

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    I've been talking with my father lately.I found out a month or 2 ago that he ungoing test for Lymphoma(a form of cancer).I called him tonight & he told me that it's pretty much comfirmed that he has it.


    I don't know what to feel because when I was younger,he made it a hobbie to get drunk & beat on his wife & kids(he even pulled a gun on my mom when I was 14).He might be getting a bone marrow transplant from his sis or bro.I can't donate.I found out when I was 12 that I'm not his & my sis(who is his) has very confusing emotions(like me)about this.I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past month or so.I cried when I got off the phone with him.Even though I'm not his,I kinda adopted the family history as my own(I still don't know who my real dad is).When I talked to him tonight,it sounded like he's given up.I don't know what to think right now & I'm worried about what my sis is going through,too.
     
  2. Metalsulm

    Metalsulm W:O:A Metalmaster

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    O...that´s not easy:(

    I remember the time, when my daddy got sick and died

    He was 2000 km´s away from me at that time..

    i tried to get there, when i heard that it was serious, but it was too late:(

    We have had problems too (not as serious as yours, but ..)

    I still got the feeling there was someting left to say..:(

    i really hope this won´t happen to you, and your father´s getting better soon..
     
  3. Brat

    Brat W:O:A Metalhead

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    Loose Cannon

    I feel your pain and your turmoil. Is your sister talking to you about it or is just saying "I'm fine, I'm fine"? I would try and urge her to talk to you but if that's too hard, at least an inpartial professional...

    In a way I can relate to your situation. I had a similar upbringing, but it was my mother who was the problem. She died almost 9 years ago as a result of her own stupidity and I still have anger issues with her, how she affected my life/opportunties, etc and they'll probably never go away. I just try and leave them in the past and think to the future.

    I honestly don't know what I would do if I was faced with that decision.

    My opinion (in no way professional) is your sister needs to think about herself first and how she can/will deal with her decisions, then think about your father.
     
  4. Wackianne

    Wackianne W:O:A Metalhead

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    Oh, fathers...

    I can imagine that your mind is terribly confused now...:(
    Fathers (as well as "emotional fathers") play such an important role in a child´s and later adult´s life, they should not mess up things so much... Hope, you and your sister will find a way to resolve the whole issue with your dad lest (esp. in case he cannot defeat the desease) it agonizes you a lifetime..! What about you mother?
    Not sure about the use of the word "lest", by the way, did I make a mistake there?
    Havin problems with my dad, too, and I just can´t let the matter rest in my mind. Yeah, fathers...
     
  5. Lucretia

    Lucretia W:O:A Metalmaster

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    sorry to hear that. I think thats really a hard situation :(
    My father died nearly 4 years ago of cancer... but we didn´t have any problems, so there was nothing to feel bad about. Anyway it was really hard :(
    Thinking about this donation.. well, you are out of the question anyway, but I´m sure its not easy for your sister. How´s the relationship between your family now? Is you father still doing such shit or has that become better?
    I´m also having problems with my mother, we don´t have such a great relationship, but its not that bad - so if she´d need something it wouldn´t be a question, can´t say what I´d do if she had done such things.

    Well, you´ll manage to go through with it, I know that, though its a hard ime now - and no matter how it will end. But I think its important to clear stuff that has to be said between you and your father before it might be too late.
    Have you seen - I´m just dedicating my 5000th post to you ;)
     
  6. Toffi Fee

    Toffi Fee W:O:A Metalgod

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    Hej, I wish you luck whatever your decision might be.
    I have some ... let's say 'problems' with my father - my brother and my mother also have. And we've discussed sometimes what we would do in such a situation like you are in at the moment. And I normally wish him all the bad of the world ... :rolleyes:

    I can't really help you nor relieve you of your decision but always remember, whatever your father has done he is a human being, isn't he?
     
  7. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon W:O:A Metalhead

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    He still drinks & pops pain pills.My parents divorced in 89'.My mom could care less what happens to him.Me,my sis, & my mom are very close(I live with my mom & my sis lives across the street from us).He lives with his mom & brother(ironic, isn't it).
     
  8. Fallen_Knight

    Fallen_Knight W:O:A Metalmaster

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    I tried to think and write something.. but.. hmm...

    These things are so tragic and sad...

    I wish you luck wit hall and hope it all gets better

    Take care of you and your family, right?

    *wishes everything gets fine*
     
  9. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon W:O:A Metalhead

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    I'm just having a year from hell right now.
     
  10. Fallen_Knight

    Fallen_Knight W:O:A Metalmaster

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    We all feel like that once in our lifetimes I guess
     
  11. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon W:O:A Metalhead

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    My cat died in my hands,my oldest niece's dad died, & now this.
     
  12. Fallen_Knight

    Fallen_Knight W:O:A Metalmaster

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    My girlfriend is having 2 terrible years, and we have feeling something more is happening...

    she says the best happening in her life is me

    So I do whatever I casn to help her ease the pain, the grief.. and longings
     
  13. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon W:O:A Metalhead

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    My aunt(on my mom's side) has a horse farm.I might be going with my mom to go up there for a weekend.I was raised around horses.She has a 11 acre farm.
     
  14. Fallen_Knight

    Fallen_Knight W:O:A Metalmaster

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    Yes, that sounds good
    There are times when it is good to clear your mind and soul
     
  15. Brat

    Brat W:O:A Metalhead

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    I agree with Fallen_Knight.

    There's nothing better than going to someplace 'neutral' as it were to try and work through your emotions.

    I love horses (most animals etc) and I think spending time grooming, riding cleaning will help ease your stress and maybe even allow you to think clearer.
     

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