Fathers.

[LooseCannon]

I've been talking with my father lately.I found out a month or 2 ago that he ungoing test for Lymphoma(a form of cancer).I called him tonight & he told me that it's pretty much comfirmed that he has it.


I don't know what to feel because when I was younger,he made it a hobbie to get drunk & beat on his wife & kids(he even pulled a gun on my mom when I was 14).He might be getting a bone marrow transplant from his sis or bro.I can't donate.I found out when I was 12 that I'm not his & my sis(who is his) has very confusing emotions(like me)about this.I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past month or so.I cried when I got off the phone with him.Even though I'm not his,I kinda adopted the family history as my own(I still don't know who my real dad is).When I talked to him tonight,it sounded like he's given up.I don't know what to think right now & I'm worried about what my sis is going through,too.

 

[Metalsulm]

O...that´s not easy

I remember the time, when my daddy got sick and died

He was 2000 km´s away from me at that time..

i tried to get there, when i heard that it was serious, but it was too late

We have had problems too (not as serious as yours, but ..)

I still got the feeling there was someting left to say..

i really hope this won´t happen to you, and your father´s getting better soon..

 

[Brat]

Loose Cannon

I feel your pain and your turmoil. Is your sister talking to you about it or is just saying "I'm fine, I'm fine"? I would try and urge her to talk to you but if that's too hard, at least an inpartial professional...

In a way I can relate to your situation. I had a similar upbringing, but it was my mother who was the problem. She died almost 9 years ago as a result of her own stupidity and I still have anger issues with her, how she affected my life/opportunties, etc and they'll probably never go away. I just try and leave them in the past and think to the future.

I honestly don't know what I would do if I was faced with that decision.

My opinion (in no way professional) is your sister needs to think about herself first and how she can/will deal with her decisions, then think about your father.

 

[Wackianne]

Oh, fathers...

I can imagine that your mind is terribly confused now...
Fathers (as well as "emotional fathers") play such an important role in a child´s and later adult´s life, they should not mess up things so much... Hope, you and your sister will find a way to resolve the whole issue with your dad lest (esp. in case he cannot defeat the desease) it agonizes you a lifetime..! What about you mother?
Not sure about the use of the word "lest", by the way, did I make a mistake there?
Havin problems with my dad, too, and I just can´t let the matter rest in my mind. Yeah, fathers...

 

[Lucretia]

sorry to hear that. I think thats really a hard situation
My father died nearly 4 years ago of cancer... but we didn´t have any problems, so there was nothing to feel bad about. Anyway it was really hard
Thinking about this donation.. well, you are out of the question anyway, but I´m sure its not easy for your sister. How´s the relationship between your family now? Is you father still doing such shit or has that become better?
I´m also having problems with my mother, we don´t have such a great relationship, but its not that bad - so if she´d need something it wouldn´t be a question, can´t say what I´d do if she had done such things.

Well, you´ll manage to go through with it, I know that, though its a hard ime now - and no matter how it will end. But I think its important to clear stuff that has to be said between you and your father before it might be too late.
Have you seen - I´m just dedicating my 5000th post to you

 

[Toffi Fee]

Hej, I wish you luck whatever your decision might be.
I have some ... let's say 'problems' with my father - my brother and my mother also have. And we've discussed sometimes what we would do in such a situation like you are in at the moment. And I normally wish him all the bad of the world ...

I can't really help you nor relieve you of your decision but always remember, whatever your father has done he is a human being, isn't he?

 

[LooseCannon]

Originally posted by Lucretia
sorry to hear that. I think thats really a hard situation
My father died nearly 4 years ago of cancer... but we didn´t have any problems, so there was nothing to feel bad about. Anyway it was really hard
Thinking about this donation.. well, you are out of the question anyway, but I´m sure its not easy for your sister. How´s the relationship between your family now? Is you father still doing such shit or has that become better?
I´m also having problems with my mother, we don´t have such a great relationship, but its not that bad - so if she´d need something it wouldn´t be a question, can´t say what I´d do if she had done such things.

Well, you´ll manage to go through with it, I know that, though its a hard ime now - and no matter how it will end. But I think its important to clear stuff that has to be said between you and your father before it might be too late.
Have you seen - I´m just dedicating my 5000th post to you

He still drinks & pops pain pills.My parents divorced in 89'.My mom could care less what happens to him.Me,my sis, & my mom are very close(I live with my mom & my sis lives across the street from us).He lives with his mom & brother(ironic, isn't it).

 

[Fallen_Knight]

I tried to think and write something.. but.. hmm...

These things are so tragic and sad...

I wish you luck wit hall and hope it all gets better

Take care of you and your family, right?

*wishes everything gets fine*

 

[LooseCannon]

I'm just having a year from hell right now.

 

[Fallen_Knight]

We all feel like that once in our lifetimes I guess

 

[LooseCannon]

My cat died in my hands,my oldest niece's dad died, & now this.

 

[Fallen_Knight]

My girlfriend is having 2 terrible years, and we have feeling something more is happening...

she says the best happening in her life is me

So I do whatever I casn to help her ease the pain, the grief.. and longings

 

[LooseCannon]

My aunt(on my mom's side) has a horse farm.I might be going with my mom to go up there for a weekend.I was raised around horses.She has a 11 acre farm.

 

[Fallen_Knight]

Yes, that sounds good
There are times when it is good to clear your mind and soul

 

[Brat]

I agree with Fallen_Knight.

There's nothing better than going to someplace 'neutral' as it were to try and work through your emotions.

I love horses (most animals etc) and I think spending time grooming, riding cleaning will help ease your stress and maybe even allow you to think clearer.